When does your job count for more than your personality?

Now Playing: The truth about the ‘Cadillac tax’ article Now Play: New study says kids with autism are less likely to be treated by doctors Now Play “My kid can’t sit in the car for 15 minutes, he can’t drive, he has to sit at the back of the car and then I’m in the front,” said Karen Lienhart, who owns her own business, a nail salon.

She added that when she’s not in the office, she has to walk her kids to school because they’re afraid.

“They get really stressed, they get really anxious,” she said.

And Lienhardt is just one of many moms and dads in America who are being asked to make sacrifices that may not be appropriate.

So how can you take charge of the way your kids behave, and do not make it more difficult for them to thrive?

Here are some ways to make sure your kids are at least partly in charge.

1.

Make sure you’re a good fit.

“There are plenty of reasons why it’s important to be in a good place, but the key is making sure you are,” said Julie Goss, author of The New Rules of Parenting: How to Raise Healthy, Successful, and Creative Children.

And it starts with having an understanding of what makes a good environment.

“You need to know that you’re not the only person who has the same goals, the same values, the exact same challenges, and you need to make it work,” Goss said.

“I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had conversations with a child and they have these exact same goals.

That is how you have a great relationship with your child.”

In fact, if you want your kids to thrive, make sure they are a fit with your family, your values, your way of life, and your culture.

2.

Teach them how to behave.

“If you’re really serious about your child’s development, you have to give them the tools they need to be able to learn and grow and to be successful,” said Sarah Sargent, a preschool teacher at New York’s St. Louis Children’s Hospital.

Sargens has a two-year-old boy and a six-year old girl.

When they were little, the boys and girls were inseparable, but now that they’re adults, they have become more independent.

“We’re still very close, but we have more autonomy,” she told ABC News.

“So we’re able to take our own decisions and not have the control that we once had.”

3.

Be flexible.

“When it comes to kids, it’s really important to make them feel like they’re really valued, and that they have a purpose and a value,” Gossel said.

She’s been a kindergarten teacher for 10 years and has seen first-hand how children can grow up in different ways depending on what kind of environment they’re in.

“Kids who are raised in the home are often much more tolerant of other people, and they’re more tolerant to things that they don’t like,” she added.

“In our family, there is no room for criticism, there’s no room to be uncomfortable, and we’re very sensitive to all of those things.”

4.

Give them something to do.

“Children are always learning and they are always evolving and they grow,” Golls said.

But parents are not the sole responsibility of making sure their children are doing their best work.

“Parents should be the ones who are looking out for their kids, because if parents are too busy being super busy, they’re not taking care of their kids and they aren’t giving them enough time,” Guss said.

5.

Be responsible.

“It’s important that parents take on the responsibility of helping their kids learn and be a good parent, because that is the most important job,” Gosa said.

So what is the best way to manage your child?

Goss recommends asking your child to be a role model.

“For example, you could be a very passive person, you can’t push your kids or push yourself,” she explained.

“Instead, you need a role that says you’re in charge and you are taking care and you’re providing for your child and you have the right expectations.”

“You don’t have to be perfect, but if you’re an effective, competent parent, you’re doing it right,” Gissel added.

So, what are some tips for managing your kids that work?

“Make it a priority,” Gose said.

Parents need to realize that they can’t control every aspect of their children’s lives, but they can control how they behave, so they need help.

“Make sure you have clear goals for your kids and that you have expectations for them,” Gosh said.

In the end, parents are the ones with the power to control how their kids behave.

They can choose to teach them to be more assertive, or they can teach