The first time my girlfriend of seven years lost her virginity was when she was eight.
My family was shocked and it felt very surreal, and my mother, who had been my best friend for years, was very upset, too.
“I was in the bath when I heard it and the moment I thought it was over, I felt so bad, so embarrassed and humiliated,” she says.
“It was a really big moment, so I cried so hard and couldn’t move.
I was scared.”
I asked my mother how I should feel.
“Oh, you’re so sorry, honey,” she said.
“But I think that if you don’t cry, you’ll feel guilty, too.”
It was a big deal for me, and I had been doing it all my life.
I had had my first sexual encounter with my then-boyfriend at the age of 11.
When he asked me if I wanted to go for a swim with him, I agreed and I fell in love with him the next day.
When I told my parents, they were surprised, but supportive and kind.
But I soon found myself struggling to accept what I had done.
I’d lost my confidence, and for the first time in my life, I had no self-esteem, which meant I felt lonely and depressed.
“Weirdly, I’d felt guilty because I was ashamed of myself for being in love,” says her mother, Julia, a social worker who has worked with victims of sexual assault and gender-based violence.
“When I was younger, I thought I was a weird, unappealing person and I was embarrassed by my body.
What you need to know about sexual assault Read more Julia says it’s very easy to blame someone for your sexual assault, but not to be a victim yourself. “
And now, it’s happening to me again.”
What you need to know about sexual assault Read more Julia says it’s very easy to blame someone for your sexual assault, but not to be a victim yourself.
“You need to be brave and stand up for yourself.
That’s what you need.”
I started talking to my parents about what happened.
“My mum was really shocked,” she recalls.
“She didn’t know why I was doing it.
But she saw what was happening to my body and she understood.” “
At that time, my mother was very much in denial and didn’t think about anything.
But she saw what was happening to my body and she understood.”
I’ve never been in the position of losing my virginity again.
Julia says her parents didn’t seem to mind, and it’s the first experience she’s had where she felt embarrassed.
“They were happy for me and they were supportive,” she explains.
“This time I was really happy.”
It took a while to get used to my new body and feel confident enough to start having sex again.
I still have trouble remembering how many times I’ve had sex with my partner.
I remember thinking I was making too many mistakes.
But then, suddenly, it felt okay.
I still struggle to get into the habit of sleeping with my husband. “
Then, I started having sex a lot more, so now I’m happy and I feel really good.”
I still struggle to get into the habit of sleeping with my husband.
But now I feel a lot less embarrassed.
I am still in a good place emotionally and physically, and Julia says she is happy to be able to share her story.
“Because of my experience, I’ve become a much stronger person.
Now, I know that there are women who are sexually assaulted and don’t speak up, so that makes me very proud of myself.”
Julia says the biggest thing she wants people to remember is that there is no such thing as an impossible sexual encounter.
“If you’re comfortable with what you’ve done, it can happen again.
You can change your life, and change the way you live your life,” she adds.
“The only thing I can say is, when you are ready, to do it.”